Michael De'Shazer's Park Bench

I have a new blog

2010-08-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

My new blog is now at:
deshazer.me .... and I promise it's not a virus.

This blog is now discontinued until I re-continue it. Thanks for reading!
My reasons: change is good. Go for it.

There

2010-06-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as "there." "There" is only a potential "here" from which you stand gazing at another "there." Moral: look at the "here"s you're happy with from the perspective where "here" was "there." It makes "here" so much more pleasurable.

Update on my "here":
I recently got a job for a web startup off Wall Street to lead social media marketing.
Also, I co-founded www.yoma.mobi with a former Berkeley College classmate of mine from undergrad, and the site is picking up traffic quite nicely. If you'd like, check out the Beta version as your new all-in-one portal to the web. If you type "yoma" in the search box, you can reach our YomaResponse team. We'd love to here your suggestions.

Currently, I;m trying to optimize the sticky note feature.
Anyway, I love you, as you know. There might not even be a difference between us, you and I-- as we're just mirrors of each other, comparing and contrasting our differences to define our identities... and other such nonsense...

Hey, I gotta be as "philosophical" as possible-- making weird semi-artsy/zany statements because there isn't much room for that on Wall Street, I'll tell you that...
But there is Stone Street, I'll tell you that. Discovered it today.
If you don't know, go. And foursquare it while you're at it.
And don't worry... Yoma will support that feature soon.
But, I'm not worried about getting "there" really...
Okay, maybe a little.

I'm back

2010-05-14T09:09:00.000-07:00

My last post was in the beginning of '09....
That was a good year. Actually, it really sucked a bit, didn't it? Well, years always feel a little more like defining periods the further we move away from them, rather than the no-good-reason chaos we really knew them to be at the time.
I found that a small portion of the approx 8,000 lucky people I personally sold one of my novels to (from Memphis to NYC) have been visiting this blog since I've been away.
But, Mike, where have you been?
Well, oddly enough I re-entered computer science, because the 8,000 people who purchased my books took 3 years and alot of standing and talking... Selling... I got tired of it. So, I took up something where I could sit and not talk... Makes sense. Well, maybe not to you.
My 22nd birthday has recently passed; I just finished up a Harvard grad extension semester, (today), I wrote a few information theory papers, put out a new webory (free novel series on the web-- www.hewillcomeasathief.com), and I'm working on the Time Machine app which will correspond with the novel when it is officially released.
There are new chapters coming soon to that project by the way, but I'm going to be honest with you: During the time I was a way, I fell in love with quantum mechanics and information technology deeply... more than ever before. It will probably appear in my novels and nonfiction to come... But don't worry, ladies... gents... there will be love. (Zip-unzip) and that was for Eb.
Back to the world and you, my reader:
have you been naughty?

Good.

Signing out, but not for long, dear.

Your friend and the author who loves you requiring not that you requite,

Michael

WM Clark Associates Rejection Letter

2009-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

The first one is in within 48 hours. WM Clark has the fastest turn-around on rejections. In the words of Philly D, "WM Clark is your douchebag of the day."
And for the rest of the authors out there, this is their form rejection letter, so if you get this, don't worry.
In fact, I know a little something about this agency (am I getting bitter? Sure, why not lol! Rejects gotta have some fun): I met an intern who used to do an unpaid internship here (as its craigslist ad advertises "you should do it just for the experience"). Let's say she's a red-head who moved onto bigger and better at a real agency that pays. I got the heads up from her about a month ago that this agency in particular has interns look at queries, and make decisions-- college interns.
That's why this agency will probably always stay boutique-y .
And their letter reads:

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that I could be the best advocate for your work. Please keep in mind that mine is a subjective business, and an idea or story to which one agent does not respond may well be met with great enthusiasm by another, and I encourage you to continue writing to agents. Hopefully you will find someone who will get behind you and your work with the conviction necessary in the current market.

Best wishes.
Sincerely,
William Clark
WM CLARK ASSOCIATES

Agency Rejection Letters, Part 1

2009-01-06T17:24:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the newest installation of the ParkBenchWriter.com blog "Agency Rejection Letters"

At the beginning of the this month I finished my fifth novel, The Forgotten.

Now, for those not in the lterary world, the first thing to do when you finish your manscript, rewrite it, edit it, and rewrite it again (unlike this blog), you send out query letters to literary agents.

A query letter sums up your book and invites agents to read the full manuscript. If they like your idea, then they will request your complete manuscript. Then, if they like the manuscript, they will represent your work to large publishing houses.

Many factors go into an agent's decision to represent a book (like the current market climate, the agency's niche, etc) but most often (from what I hear from some industry folk) they decline most new authors based on this premise: they're unpublished, so they probably aren't that good.

Time is money, right? (F*ck commerce... to an extent... you know, the extent to which it gets in the way of producing great prose and when stands in the way of art)

So, what we're going to do is.... we're going to track my fifth attempt to get published.

Below is my query letter; and as agencies respond, I wll post their rejection letters or (I don't know what to even call a "good news" letter, because I've never recieved one") acceptance letter*(??)...

Okay, so here's my latest query:

Dear "Agent's Name"

I would like to invite you to read my fourth completed manuscript, The Forgotten. Originally titled Operation Arizona Black, I present you with the plausible yet fictitious tale of an American spy and the ghostwriter of his memoir. It's a spy novel and a love story about two individuals, Thomas Carr and Rahel Manbru, who set out on a covert mission to expose one of the most clandestine, compartmented, and corrupt divisions of the CIA. A division responsible for 9/11, the successful covert removal of yellowcake from Iraq in 2003, and the upcoming assassination of Renegade, the CIA code-alias for Barack Obama.

My narrative is actually two books. The chapters alternate between the interview sessions and the actual memoir. The story begins with a forward from Rahel in which she introduces Thomas and tells the story of how they met. The story then kicks off with their first interview, and then goes into the story behind Thomas Carr (as composed jointly by Thomas and Rahel). The book then moves you through Thomas' experience with the CIA: from his Farm training at Camp Peary, to covert missions for nonproliferation with Valerie Plame, to missions recruiting spies, to his conversion to the eyes-only compartmented division of Special Operations where Thomas helps negotiate and coordinate the events of 9/11 with real-life MI6 operative Omar Sheikh.The interviews and Thomas' memoir give a historical twist to the events behind Osama bin Laden's murder, the CIA negotiations with nuclear secrets tradesman A.Q. Khan, the recent death (Dec. 19th, 2008) of Karl Rove's vote-tampering guru Michael Connell, and many more events. Additionally, this is a love story about two people who share one thing: at the end of the day, for all the things they do, they will be forgotten.

The memoir and the interviews lead all the way up to Thomas' final stand where he will or will not complete his mission to assassinate Pres. Barack Obama at a press conference in Iraq. One thing is for certain, however. One of them must die.Complete at 85,000 words, this manuscript has been several years in the making. With years of research and honing my writing ability through writing workshops, college, and general literary critiques, I have finally produced a novel which I would like to present to you for publication. The first few chapters or the entire manuscript can be sent upon your request.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Best,

Michael De'Shazer

www.parkbenchwriter.com

New Years Resolution

2009-01-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

New year res: make more blog posts.
Recently, I've been M.I.A. due to being a starving artist and dedicating most of my time to searching for food so I can finish up work on my latest novel: The Forgotten (spy thriller, love story, international suspense) coming... one day.
Also, to my readers,
I love you. That is all.

I see fake people???

2008-11-12T11:04:00.001-08:00

Figuratively speaking, I've met "fake people" but I don't think this is what this dating site is advertising to not have.
Anyway, that was my daily WTF???
And obviously, there are dating sites where you can meet people that don't actually exist.

I'm Webooker of the Week and I get a free T-shirt

2008-11-09T07:38:00.001-08:00

Recently, I was named Webooker of the Week by the editor of Webook.com.
You can read the article here: http://blog.webook.com/webook_blog/2008/11/self-published-park-bench-writer-named-webooker-of-the-week.html

I would like to thank the academy, etc...

A great night, a great week, go have sex!!

2008-11-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday....
HOLY :IVBVUYFLIUYG(IH*G
LLUYGUYFO&F&KTFIFR&^OL&FK
Barack Obama won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enter 44th Prez....
Now, let me cover a few side notes (random bloggish side-notes which are half news, half musing).
My sister and her friends attend Arkansas State University. When the students there learned of Obama's victory, they commenced to do what anyone would do, and the police commenced to do what any police department would do (in a Red State): Mass arrests.
Join me in the "Please Free Mariah De'Shazer and Her Retarded College Friends" campaign.

Also, in other news: There was a 37840950684594% increase in sexual activity last night because everyone was so damn happy and obviously happiness leads to f*cking-- alright. New wave of baby boomers. A lady told me yesterday when I was exercising my right to vote: "We used to be hard on ourselves (black people) for having so many babies, but looks like it's paying off."
And it did. More babies--- now. Go procreate. Let's not make Obama a fly by night, one-night stand.
Also, that chick I was talking about in the previous blogs, we decided to say f*ck it, start a dating hitch, and all was well--- she was an AWESOME person to help celebrate the new presidency with (what up, sexy baby). So, yes, if you were wondering- this Facebook relationship is actually real, and sorry groupie b*tches- I'm taken.
Jealous Grade C Groupie : We don't give a sh*t negro! You ain't rich yet anyway! Girl, when's Kanye's concert again? And I am NOT blowing his entire whole f*cking entourage again this time for no autograph.
In addition, Tyler and Mike are the sh*t (don't know why I'm *ing curse words- maybe it's for the Red States) Had a great time w/ my new temp. roommate Valencia (who came all the way from Memphis, TN with me yesterday to a) become a famous actress and b) celebrate Obama's big ass win!
and I thoroughly enjoyed the text message celebration with all my friends which is still occurring.
Many run-on sentences today and so be it-- it's awesome. F*ck grammar today--- it's Obama Day goddammit-- even though no grammar sounds more like a Bush Day!

The Acting Student Virgin Girl (continued)

2008-11-01T00:59:00.000-07:00

First off, I flew a couple hours ago-- not literally....I was flown from Westchester County Airport in New York to Atlanta International, and then to Memphis International.
Note: besides being a Fedex hub, there's nothing international about my hometown.

Random Blog Reader: What's with the randomness, Mike? -- I thought this was going to be a continuation of that blog about the virgin actress NYU student girl.

It is. And that's the point. She's random, and when I converse with her, that might be how off-topic it gets... So, my randomness wasn't that random, you see.
Now, where were we?
Ah, yes... "Janira"
You ever like someone so much you make excuses not to like them? Like, oh yeah, she's not cool 'cause uh... man, she puts her finger on her chin when she thinks, and I can't get down with that... it's so annoying.
Alright, that was an overstatement, but you catch my drift. I find myself doing that. Now, before this turns into some weird sappy confessional blogger-reader moment, let me first emphasize that proper measures have been taken to depussify the situation.
a) As advised by a conglomerate of peers, no measures will be taken to move the "relationship" outside a platonic realm. Though, I'd like to cuddle a little. Random reader: Pussy. Me: F*ck you.
b) Random sexy feminine distractions: yes, ladies. I'm looking for a distraction- call me... on Facebook. That's how I get down.
c) More gym visits. To get that energy out. I find myself staying up later and later thinking about said person.

Now, you, the reader, might be wondering: Wait.... Mike.... if she knows you write and she bought your book then maybe she's reading this blog. And she is. Right now actually. Hey, what up E... I mean Janira.
I'm in touch with my feelings, reader. This sh*t happens to you, too. Maybe, she'll just leave me alone and let me get some sleep. Then, this situation could get much more depussified.

Note to self: Never get interested in a sexy and captivating female intellectual. It's mind-boggling, fun, and ruinous. But since I already have, I'm looking forward to the ride.

Banned Facebook Ad

2008-10-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

Facebook may hate gays. Why else would they ban this ass... I mean ad. Recently, I attempted to target Chuck Palahniuk, Chuck Klosterman, and Eric Jerome Dickey's readers ages 17-25 to read my latest novel, Pieces, with the following pic and text (which accurately discribes the book).
The reason I say Facebook might be a little homophobic is practically because I've seen similar images (ya know with exception to the absence of a Y chromosone) all over the site.
There's no nipple action- trust me- I closely observed numerously. It's just two girls kissing: yet FB calls this "inappropriate."
Oh and if you think it's the lingerie, think again. If you've been on Facebook lately, you've seen some Victoira Secret-esque ads with pornish tendency.
Also, I IP hunted (used to be a hacker... and if you're a fed, I'm joking)... the person who disproved my site and this came up: Thefacebook.com (204.15.21.166) : www.intern.facebook.com/intern/ads/review.php
This means some snot-noised intern with half a brain, more than a dose of conservatism, and a saved ticket stub from a McCain-Palin rally was cheated on by his little girlfriend. He found out it was a girl, and because he couldn't beat the sh*t out of the girl because she was (a) a girly girl or (b) a big, bad butch, he decided to vent via his cubicle-ridden tech internship in "Palo Alto, California, United States." That's right, punk- I know where you live.

NYU actress claims to be a virgin (to be continued)

2008-10-29T23:48:00.000-07:00

Thiiisss is a story of a girl.... She da-na-na-na the whole world And she (something something... something else) love her... WHEN SHE SMILES!!!!

Okay, I felt like providing a melodious intro. And this is indeed the story of a girl. In fact, we'll make her the second lead in this blog. Let's not name any names for obvious reasons.
We'll name her Bob.
So, I met Bob... no... let's name her Sharquisha.... So, I met Sharqui.... no.... that's not sticking either. Alexis-scratch.
Jill-bad memories.
Danielle- hmm.... no.
I'm going to stroll through my phone and make a random selection... ah ha!
Janira. (This is actually one of the hardest parts about writing a book -- picking character names)
So, I met Janira almost two months ago selling books in the park. A beautiful young lady, black, 5'2ish, nice bust (not too over the top, but nice, you know), fashionable, college chick, intelligent. I gave her my card, flirted a little; she texted me; we started talking occasionally-- and then very occasionally.... This led to that... that led to this...
And we decided to go on an informal "non-date" about a month ago. I thought she was too pleased with herself and self-righteous- she hated that I didn't take her half as serious as she was used to- I called her an asshole in passing; she took (0ver dramatic) offense; and that was that. We didn't talk for about a week. I must admit though- I was impressed by her strikingly unique personality, quip, and self-assumptive charm (but mostly by her intelligence and ability to convey her thoughts and therefore carry a substantive discussion and/or argument).
Yet, I moved on, and so did she. Until one day, we ended up meeting in the park again, exchanging a few indecencies, etc.... And we began talking on a regular basis once again.
Eventually, we started hanging out semi-regularly, and conversing on the phone like a cliche romantic comedy....
I would finish this story, and it gets much better, but it's 3:07 on the coast and I have a flight to catch in the tomorrow after class... Plus, this gives you a nice little story to tune in for.
By the way, she's an actress who claims to be a virgin....
(to be continued...)

KICK THE BUCKET hits No.1!!!

2008-10-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

My latest community writing project: Kick the Bucket, today hit number one on Webook.com's featured projects page!

SUPPORTERS & READERS PLEASE NOTE: create Webook accounts and vote for both my community and individual project on November 4th (Election Day, coincidentally)so I can have my stuff more widely published.

Also, I'm about to throw a big party! More details coming soon...

It's cold outside

2008-10-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

I may have to find a new place to stand. Sorry guys.
I will be at my usual post for the rest of the week, but what lies ahead after that is uncertain.
Perhaps I'll do a beauty shop tour.
I got invited to a college for a speaking engagement. They say I can sell books afterwards.
Maybe I can do that.
I'm going to miss Union Sq. Park.
F*ck it! I'm going to fight the good fight. Stay there 'til my bones freeze and my mouth can't move to utter: "Can I be your favorite author?"

Diamond in the Rough Indy Rap Scene

2008-10-18T22:55:00.001-07:00

I finally found a good independent rap act. Typically, and honestly, they are shit. You know this.
Well, Mynority and his crew of R&B singers and rappers are anything but. Last week, I paid a visit to Delancey Lounge in Manhattan's Lower East Side where I stumbled upon some FAT beats accompanied by (not only) clear, unmuffled rap lines but slick word play and witty lines. Two thumbs up for Myno and his crew. Check him out at http://www.myspace.com/myno
I'm sure this guy's going to go far, and not just because he was requested by a DJ from Hot 97 toward the end of his show to perform for an upcoming national tour.

I'm on WeBook and so can you

2008-10-13T09:18:00.001-07:00

I saw this site advertised about a million times on Facebook, so I finally clicked it to see what http://www.webook.com/ was all about.

Currently I've published about seven chapters from my latest novel for you to comment on and rate. Check me out at http://www.webook.com/projects.aspx?pn=michaeldeshazer

Also, for those who werelooking forme the last couple of weeks in Union Sq. doing my usual thing, I was down South pushing my books so I can pay the rent.
I mean with all the Jewish holidays as of late, I had to get outa NYC and revitalize from the mandates of school and shittiness of New Yorkers :)

I was away

2008-10-05T02:10:00.001-07:00

I know.
Sorry.
But now I'm back.

I meet cool ppl

2008-09-21T01:09:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was working on a couple of new books (just for you) at one of my favorite drink-and-write havens. At Park Slope's Tea Lounge in BK, I met a very interesting & avant-garde artist named XAPHRYN PHOLLICLE.
She works with creating a spiritually balancing and new-wave sound with limited digital resources to produce some pretty sweet stuff... in my opinion. Check her out if you're looking for some different stuff and/or you're into the BK indy scene: http://www.myspace.com/fillia

It kind of reminds me of EDIT's Glitch Hop a little (I'm a big fan of this guy). Check out Edit as well at www.myspace.com/edit

And since this seems like a bad infomercial blog, check out www.weeknowcity.com. It's a cool new site that will be launching soon as a social networking site for artists.

2008 Brooklyn Book Festival

2008-09-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

What's there to say about the BK Book Festival this year???
It was a great experience. I had the opportunity to meet a lot of successful independent authors and publishers.

Sil Lai Abrams, author of No More Drama.

Some cool girls from Urban Word NYC

Marie Carter, author of Trapeze Diaries.

Danni L., author and publisher of Over Your Dead Body.

Michael De'Shazer and creator of the Cheetah Girls, the novel (which went on to become a major Disney original).

Hope Coaxum, author of A Juicy Story. (We made great friends).

Author of Fatou

Weird Girl

2008-09-12T13:47:00.000-07:00

I met a weird girl while selling books and she wants me to blog about her weirdness. Don't ask.
Why am I granting this request-- there's nothing really to blog about. She's really weird.... And she goes to Hunter...
Yep. There you go, weird girl-- I have blogged about you.

"MIKE!!" someone yelled across the blogosphere. "Why haven't you been out selling books the last THREE DAYS??!?!?"
"Well," I answer. "It's been rainy and/or muggy." I promise to show up this weekend if the rain lets up. However, I'm still working for your literary affection. I'm trying to get my words out there by stawking literary agents around New York. So far, I've been to GL and Donald Maass' agency and plan to visit many more throughout the upcoming weeks until someone is representing yours truly, so I can focus more on giving you three books a year and less on paying the rent :)

Excerpt from Michael De'Shazer VOL. 2

2008-09-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Once in the sixth grade, I missed my 5th period Sex Education class.
I thought I was pregnant.

Regurgitated Craigslist Post. I need good writers...

2008-09-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

I posted this ad on Craigslist, and I'm reposting it here. If you're a writer or know a very talented one, read this:

Hi, my name is Michael De'Shazer. I'm the independent author and publisher of three novels (www.parkbenchwriter.com) and I'm currently seeking writers for a short story anthology (with a working title of "New York Underground." Poetry submissions will be accepted; however, IF they will be used will depend on the coherence each piece has with an accepted short story. Poetry may or may not be included in this anthology. There will be a vote amongst the selected writers on this issue.

If you have a short story that you would like included in this book, please send me your story and a little about yourself.

ABOUT ME:
I'm 20 and I'm currently enrolled as a college Junior (English & Marketing double major). Yes, I'm young, however, I have 3 years of independent publishing experience. I sell my books daily in Union Sq. Park after school. I like to write...

ABOUT THE PROJECT:
How much will you be paid if your story is included?
Everyone involved with the project will receive their own online store and all the purchases made through the store of e-books or paperbacks is yours after cost. Also, all authors will receive free copies of the book for promotional and personal use. A link to your store and personal page will be included on the new Park Bench Publishing website.

Rights?
The rights to YOUR work are non-exclusive; meaning, we will publish your story, but you have the right to publish it again without our consent. It's YOUR work after all. Park Bench Publishing, however, does reserve the right to publish and sell all works included in the project.

Where will it be available?
It will be available through Barnes & Noble and Borders as a "special order item." If the book gets large appeal and sells extremely well, it will be on select store shelves in NYC. The book will also be available at select coffee stands, small bookstores, and beauty/barber shops in Brooklyn and Harlem. In addition, I will include it with the rest of my novels on my book stand in Union Sq and on my online store. Published writers will also be provided with a professional and sleek author page and store as well.

Who is this project for?
Any good writer who can evoke the reader's emotion and enjoyment and tell a riveting and/or thought-provoking story.

When will it be published?
Depending on many factors, the best answer is simply: before the end of the year.

Brooklyn Book Festival, STREET TEAM STAND UP!

2008-09-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

Seen wedding crashers?
Well, imagine that at a book festival.
CALLING ALL STREET TEAM MEMBERS, readers, & friends!!!
We need your attendance. We plan on SHUTTING DOWN the BROOKLYN BOOK FESTIVAL on Sunday, September 14th at Borough Hall in BK. We're all meeting there at 10AM and we will be BBQing, promoting, and letting the world know- MICHAEL DE'SHAZER is in the house. All of the majors in the literary world will be in attendance and we want them to know what PARK BENCH PUBLISHING is all about. We want to bring the underground arts and literary community to the forefront of the festival and shut BOROUGH HALL DOWN.
For more info on the festival, vist brooklynbookfestival.com

Pssst.... Can I tell you something funny?

2008-08-31T22:19:00.001-07:00

It defeats the very essence of the "something funny," when you ask to tell it.
Why do I mention it?
Because you didn't ask me to tell it...
So, you didn't ruin it.
Laugh.
Get it?

DIALOGUE with Michael De'Shazer

2008-08-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

2/3 of this conversation actually took place. I was going to save it, but it's almost too funny.

I was eating fondue near Union Sq. Park. I was sitting in a long booth (you know the seats that elongate all the way across the side of a restaurant so that virtually everyone sitting on a particular side are sharing the same "bench"). The woman sitting next to me moved in a weird way and so did I (inadvertently...) and I ended up grazing her butt. The first two lines of dialogue ensued.

"Sorry," I said.
"No, it's okay," she poliaded (new word: combination of "politely said"), waving the incident off with a smile.
"Oh, okay, so I can do it again?"

I told this story thrice today to a few girls I know, and they all told me I should have said it and passed it off as a joke...
I'd rather blog it. The real world and the hypothetical one sometimes are like expectation and reality. They DO meet, but usually, et cetera, et cetera...

Leaked Beginning from upcoming novel, FOUR MINUTES TO LIVE

2008-08-26T21:18:00.001-07:00

Hey, here is the preliminary beginning of FOUR MINUTES TO LIVE. The upcoming novel, slated for release in the Spring of 2009, takes place within the confines of four fleeting minutes.

I hope you enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Taylor held a pistol to her father’s head. Inches away.

It was just one of those nights.

Her baby was crying in the basement downstairs, and there was a cacophony of car subwoofers outside competing for auditory dominance. Casting whatever it was on the floor aside with her bare foot amidst the 40-ounce bottles and crumpled receipts that littered the bedroom floor, Taylor held a steady hand with the cold steel of the .45 in her tight grasp. She pistol-whipped him, aiming for the mouth, but striking the ridge of his nose instead, contorting his nasal cartilage—but it wasn’t enough to make him any uglier.

He made a face as if he’d seen something extremely obscene, abruptly waking to the sensation of the violent strike. As his eyes flung open and a pool of blood oozed from his nose, he realized the odorless pain and the dark figure hovering over him. Pam woke up beside him with a shriek, springing up with the crumb-ridden comforter to cover herself…as women do when their man is being pistol whipped at 2 a.m…

The pistol was already cocked. Ready. A strip of canary light from the street lamp outside revealed Taylor’s face to Desmond.

“Tay Tay,” he said, a father to his daughter… confused. Desperate. Weary. Heart-pounding.

She pulled the trigger at point-blank range.

Hmmmm....

2008-08-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

I saw a squirrel humping a park rail yesterday. Just thought you should know...
Additionally, if you haven't visited www.getmikeonoprah.com, check it out. I think the URL sums up the idea. This blog seems to be turning into a Twitter, ay?

Eh hehm

2008-08-21T00:48:00.001-07:00

I have nothing to say to you.

Hanging with the Ladies from Girlfriend's INC Book Club

2008-08-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

I recently flew down to Memphis for a week to promote my newest book and hang with the ladies from GIRLFRIENDS, INC of Memphis. GFofM is currently reading my book and we had a nice night out at a little club called Sneaky Pete's. The music was very old... ol... ol' school, but aside from the many line dances I didn't know and old men standing around gazing at young-middle-aged ass, it was a good time.

Four Minutes to Live

2008-08-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

My newest book will not be Dead Man Running. It's already been written, but I like the idea of this: 4 minutes to live. Say you only had four short minutes left to go on this Earth. Where would you go? What would you do? Who would you call? Would you call anyone? Would you pray, screw, kill, fight, destroy, play, cry, laugh, get high, masturbate, shit your pants, eat, drink, text, tell a secret, roll over... what would you do?
I have a new forum discussing this topic at www.fourminutestolive.com . Check it out and leave your feedback.

Shallow Thought

2008-08-10T10:24:00.001-07:00

If an idiot discovers you, are you dumbfounded?

Posted in Union Square Park

2008-08-06T21:22:00.001-07:00

Somebody came up to me a couple days ago with a camera and made this vid of me posted up on my block: 14th St. & Union Sq. West.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

Internet Fun

2008-08-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

Do you like to throw people in buckets?
If so, visit pplbucket.com for shameless fun.

Success

2008-08-02T19:23:00.003-07:00

Today was good. I sold alot of books. But screw that. Check out this pic:

Hustling Books around New York

2008-08-02T00:31:00.000-07:00

I just returned from my first night of selling Pieces and NC-17 in hipster-infested, lost tourist-haven, skateboarding-hangoutesque Union Square. Sales were slow to say the least, but the important thing is: books were sold and cards were distributed. I received my new shipment from the ever-slow UPS around 7 and I was out an about around 9. I stayed posted on the corner 'til about 2am. And during my 5-hour stint, I sold 8 books.
Tomorrow is a new day...

Art & Literature

2008-07-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a book that can evoke a similar emotion of which the below piece brings forth.

www.byrolyphics.com

Trolly Night

2008-07-24T08:11:00.001-07:00

Friday from 6-10 on South Main St. come enjoy free wine, art openings, and a reading from some of my books.

Kaavya Viswanathan

2008-07-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Kaavya Viswanathan's scandal comes to mind.
Recently, I was talking with someone about my 2006 novel, The Wade Scandal. The person with whom I was having the convo said SHE DID NOT BELIEVE I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THE WADE SCANDAL when I was 17. She's right, because I wrote most of it when I was 16. Additionally, I didn't write most of it-- I typed it. However, unlike my fellow teen author at the time, I didn't steal exact lines from other books. Kaavya is an Indian-American and while I can't understand how a Harvard student could not remember to effectively paraphrase, I gotta say: you make it hard for young, brown authors.

Interview on "Pieces"

2008-07-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

This is a bootleg recording from the TV audience of an interview I recently did discussing Pieces.

Selling Books Illegally in Stores

2008-07-14T09:48:00.001-07:00

As some of you know and concurrently heard of me, I sell books by illegally soliciting them to unsuspecting shoppers at Targets, Macys, Starbucks, Wal-marts, and where ever else. If you are one of those people who bought or might buy my books: Hello, and welcome to my blog.

Excerpt from PIECES- Youtube Vid

2008-07-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

Thursday night!

2008-07-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

Extremely excited by the prospect of appearing before a crowd of book worms and pretentious alumni elitists for a local TV special in Memphis, TN, I have been preparing vigourously for... what the hell will I wear?
We shall see...
I'm thinking avant garde...
I'll be talking about my new underground novel, PIECES. It will be on sell online soon. Put on your glasses and be on the look out.

What's Park Bench Prose??

2008-06-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

Well, it's a blog inspired by a downward spiral turned upside down via a park bench in Central Park or Prospect Ave. It's Brooklyn lit with a Southerners' hospitality and a pessimist's conviction countered by a dash of optimism. It's the blog you're reading as you twinkle away your light between two vast eternities.